PERSONAL SPACE

           Personal space for Americans is the area around a person that one thinks of as their area or space, and that they don’t want other people to come into or enter as they meet or talk.  The amount of space people want or need around them, in order to feel comfortable, depends on a lot of factors, including where the person is, who the person is interacting with, how well one knows the other person, and so on.  Preferences and norms about personal space vary among individuals and especially across cultures.  American, as a whole, are people who like a bit more personal space compared to people from other cultures.  Most Americans value their personal space and feel discomfort, upset, or anxiety when another person gets too close.  This is especially true when talking to or meeting a new person and when in groups. How close two American’s stand when they are interacting/talking usually indicates how close the relationship is between these people.  The more familiar someone is with another person indicates how close they will let that person come within their personal space in order to interact. 

             Americans covet their own personal space, and generally do not like that space to be invaded. They find it uncomfortable when others stand too close, and will unconsciously move away. In addition, Americans have a strong sense of privacy, and feel everyone is entitled to that. They do not like to be asked their age, weight, or salary. Conversations about personal family matters, political opinions, or religion are reserved for later stages of friendship.

          An intimate zone is reserved for close friends, lovers, children and close family members. Another zone is used for conversations with friends, to chat with associates, and in group discussions. A further zone is reserved for strangers, newly formed groups, and new acquaintances. A fourth zone is used for speeches, lectures, and theater; essentially, public distance is that range reserved for larger audiences.

             Friendships between Americans tend to be shorter and less intense than those between people from many other cultures, because Americans are taught to be self-reliant and live in a very mobile society. Friendships are “compartmentalized” with “friends at work,” or "friends at school.”  Americans often seem very friendly, even when you first meet them. This friendliness does not always mean that the person is looking for a deeper relationship. Many Americans are pleasant and professional, but indirect and hide their true emotions/feelings. Being polite is important in this culture, and sometimes they may keep being nice to you even if they do not wish to pursue a deeper friendship.

         Personal space doesn’t mean very much in Indonesia, some people know about their own personal space but some others don’t. Sometimes, the people who live in town more conceiving about other’s personal space rather than who live in village. However, several people in village are conceiving what personal space means.

            Some foreigners come from places where individualism is highly prized and valued. Also, the concept of personal space is very important to them. However, in Indonesia and many other countries that are more communal, the concept of “my space” is not really reinforced nor is it something that is valued. Your space is my space and my space is your space. Indonesians are used to an overcrowded society; they tend to ignore inadvertent invasions of space. Allowing for personal space is a sign of respect.

          Due, no doubt, to the high concentration of the population, Indonesians have little, if any, sense of personal space or privacy. There is no word in the Indonesian language for “privacy”. Gossip and curiosity is rampant and Indonesians will ask you a wide range of personal questions without batting an eye. We can easily find men and women are doing gossip, in offices, shops, markets, parks, public transportation, and even in front of their house. Women and men are same; they always meet and talk about everything, important or unimportant things.

          Most of Indonesian don’t know what it mean by personal space. For Indonesian, personal space not mean a lot, they only know how to unity, to help each without knowing the personal space of others. If we go around the city in Indonesia, we would find such gossipers from children, adult, and parents, especially the housewife. No doubt and no excuse, it can be due to the lack of work, they always waste more time to gossip rather than make their home.

         The strong sense of neighborhood, unity and togetherness make Indonesian often transcend limitation of personal space of others. Though several people would prefer to it, some others would not.  It probably happens due to Indonesian’s slogan “Unity and Diversity” which means united we stand, divided we fall. From this slogan, they take it as the basic to support, help, to socialize and to work together each other. However, they frequently encroach personal space of others.  

            Means of encroaching others personal space in Indonesia is to interfere one’s affair and that is their only privacy, no need to know by public or another. Their privacy could be their secret or their individual problems. But Indonesian has an eager curiosity or only their idle curiosity, so makes all one’s problem they should not interfere in, be their problem too. We sometimes see, they interfere others problem. When one of the neighbors has problem, the other neighbor will come and ask with wide questions that may not be asked by them.

       Whole people around the world are sure need “me-time” to be alone, think clearly, self-correction, to be quiet and to solve their own problem without any interfering. They would go to a quiet comfortable place, to calm their thought down, to feel free from any problem, and to think clearly. This is what American appreciated, their personal space. None would disturb him/her, and make noise when one said, “I need me-time”, because it is their right, they must feel dizzy from any trouble of their lives.            

         Understand how the use of personal space can convey social relationship between people in various cultures. Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when that space is encroached. However, permitting a person to enter it and/or entering somebody else’s are indicators of how the two people view their relationship. When we allow someone to enter to our room means that we are in close relationship with that person, because a room is one of symbol of personal space. Therefore, if you enter someone’s room without his/her permission, you mean encroached someone’s personal space.   

          In contrast, in Indonesia, your affair is my affair as well. The term of personal space in this country is not well applicable. Every person perceive of having right to know, understand and to solve one’s problem even though he/she does not want, especially if you are in neighbor. When you reject their help, they will feel guilty, upset, sad and useless, or they will feel that you are arrogant and conceited. Even if you mean that you want to stand on your own feet, solve own problem without depending on others or to be an independent one. Saying “I need me-time” in this country does not mean too much.  

         To sum up, these all what differ meaning term of personal space in America and Indonesia. Americans have their own limit of personal space that none would and should break that law. They keep it up because they know and understand well the meaning of personal space, limits and boundaries of each other. Americans would do straight forward if there is a thing they dislike, for example : if someone with new acquaintances talks too close to their face, holding hands, putting arm on shoulder, and touching face are little bit break the law or when new friend exactly uses the stuff without permission or interfere one’s problem. Americans have three basic principles of life; one of them is self-reliance, which is mean that the people have to do something by themselves, be an independent man and stand on own feet. This principle, they believe in and make them feel that they have to solve their own problem as long as they can.    

          In Indonesia, it is a little bit same with Americans, new people should not do the things like close relationship’s does. Nevertheless, interfering and encroaching somebody else’s personal space is common here. They do not know if it breaks the law, because they only want to be useful for friends, they perceived that they doing it right. Every different country has different culture, so American’s culture is different from Indonesian’s, it based on different principle of life.